Balancing Work and Motherhood: The Real Trade-offs

We've talked to you about balance. "Juggling it all." Those moms who seem to manage their careers, their babies, their relationships, and their social lives with disconcerting ease.

Reality, however, rarely looks like that.

Balancing work and motherhood isn’t a perfect equilibrium that you achieve once and for all. It’s a series of—often uncomfortable—trade-offs that you make over and over again, week after week, sometimes day after day. It’s not a failure to not be able to do everything perfectly at the same time. It’s the reality of two profound commitments, both of which demand a part of you that isn’t infinite.

This article isn't going to give you a magic formula—there isn't one. Instead, it will lay out the real trade-offs, without sugarcoating them, so you can make those decisions with greater clarity and less guilt.

The first criterion: time, which cannot be multiplied

This is the foundation of everything, and it's also the hardest thing to accept: there are 24 hours in a day, and neither your job nor your baby is going to create any more of them.

Even before becoming a mother, balancing work and personal life already involved making compromises. But the arrival of a child adds a third dimension of constant, unpredictable, and non-negotiable needs that find their way into an already packed schedule.

The truth is that every hour spent at work is an hour not spent with the baby, and vice versa. It’s not a tragedy every time—it’s simply the mathematical reality of two commitments competing for the same limited resource. Acknowledging this reality, rather than pretending we can give 100% to everything, is often the first step toward relief.

Returning to Work: The Moment When Everything Becomes Real

This is often where the theory of “reconciliation” comes into sharp conflict with reality.

Maternity leave is coming to an end

In France, maternity leave lasts an average of 16 weeks for a first child. For many mothers, this is a truly heart-wrenching time: the baby is only a few months old, breastfeeding may still be ongoing, and they already have to start thinking about returning to work.

There is no “perfect” length of maternity leave. Some mothers want to return to work sooner, to reclaim a part of their professional identity. Others would need several more months but don’t have that option. Both feelings are valid, and neither should be a source of guilt.

Choosing a Childcare Option

Daycare, child care providers, shared care, or family care—each option has its advantages, its drawbacks, and its sometimes discouraging waiting lists. The reality in France is that there is a shortage of daycare spots in many cities, and that this choice is often not really a choice at all, but rather an option that may or may not be available.

Recognizing that you may not have chosen the ideal childcare option—but rather the one that was available—is not a failure as a parent. It’s a structural constraint that you’re adapting to.

Breastfeeding and Returning to Work

For breastfeeding mothers, returning to work raises a practical question: whether to continue—and if so, how—or to stop. French labor law provides for breastfeeding breaks (one hour per day, which can be taken in increments), but how these are actually implemented varies greatly from one company to another.

Pumping breast milk at work requires organization, a suitable space (which isn’t always available), and extra energy during already busy days. Some mothers successfully continue breastfeeding by combining morning and evening feedings with pumping during the day. Others choose to wean their babies when they return to work—whether out of necessity or by choice—and that choice is just as valid.

For those who are continuing with mixed feeding, our Breastfeeding t-shirts with a discreet opening make quick pumping sessions at the office much easier, without having to undress completely in a space that may not offer much privacy.

Mental Load: The Invisible Balancing Act

It may be the least recognized form of arbitration, yet it is the most exhausting.

Beyond the visible tasks—dropping off the baby, going to work, preparing meals—there’s the mental load: anticipating diaper needs, remembering the pediatrician’s appointment, keeping track of seasonal clothing changes, and dealing with unexpected issues at daycare—all while juggling work deadlines.

This mental load doesn't show up on a schedule. It doesn't appear in any performance review. And it has a tangible impact on the energy available for both work and motherhood.

Recognizing this burden and discussing it with your partner, friends and family, and sometimes your employer is the first step toward sharing it more equitably, when possible.

Performance Evaluation

There's a reality that we don't always dare to say out loud: becoming a parent changes—at least temporarily—one's availability and, at times, one's career aspirations.

The Issue of Presenteeism

Many companies still value—whether consciously or not—prolonged physical presence and immediate availability. A mother who leaves at 5:30 p.m. to pick up her child from daycare, and who can’t reply to a message at 8:00 p.m. because she’s busy with bath time and bedtime, may feel judged even if the quality of her actual work hasn’t changed.

The Temporary Slowdown—and What It Really Means

It is common for career ambitions to take a back seat during the early years of parenthood—not because of a lack of skill or motivation, but simply because available energy is allocated differently. This slowdown is not permanent. Many mothers regain—and even surpass—their previous career momentum once their children grow older and their nights become more restful.

The "Perfect Mother, Perfect Employee" Syndrome

The pressure to excel in both roles simultaneously, without showing any cracks, is one of the most well-documented causes of burnout among working mothers. Accepting that you can’t be perfect in every way, all the time, isn’t a sign of giving up—it’s a necessary survival strategy.

Everyday Trade-offs: What We Let Go Of (And That's Normal)

Balancing work and motherhood almost always means letting some things go, at least temporarily. Here are the most common trade-offs and why they’re acceptable.

Time for yourself is drastically reduced. Leisure activities, sports, and outings with friends often take a serious hit in the early years. It's not permanent, but it's real.

The house isn't as tidy as it used to be. Housework has become a low priority, and it's rarely the most important issue to tackle in an already busy week.

Some career opportunities are being postponed. An ambitious project, a training program, a move to a new location—certain career choices are being put on hold, not canceled.

The couple takes up less space than before. The energy devoted to the relationship often diminishes in the face of the daily demands of parenting and work. This isn’t a sign of a failing relationship; it’s a phase that needs to be acknowledged and consciously addressed so it doesn’t become a permanent state.

Table: The Most Common Trade-offs and How to Address Them

What really helps when making these trade-offs

Accept that there is no such thing as a perfect balance—only a series of adjustments. The idea of a stable, permanent balance between work and motherhood is largely a myth. The reality is a series of constant adjustments, week after week, that adapt to the baby’s changing needs and the varying demands of work.

Actively share the mental load, not just the tasks. Asking for help with tasks is helpful. Sharing the mental load—planning ahead, organizing, and remembering details—is even more so.

Build a realistic support network. Family, friends, fellow parents, professionals—no one gets through this period alone without paying the price in exhaustion. Accepting help is not an admission of weakness.

Choose your professional battles wisely. Not all professional battles deserve the same amount of energy during this period. Knowing which ones are truly important—and which ones can wait—is a skill that develops over time.

Remember that this phase will come to an end. The toughest challenges—sleepless nights, balancing breastfeeding with work, and an overwhelming mental load—will ease over time. It won’t last forever, even if some days it feels like it will.

Dressing for This Double Life

Balancing work and motherhood is also a very practical matter of what to wear—going from a meeting to a feeding, from a work call to a comforting hug, without having to change your entire outfit in between.

Our Breastfeeding t-shirts are designed for this dual daily routine—dressy enough for work, practical enough for a quick feeding between meetings. Our Breastfeeding dresses offer a professional look while providing easy access for breastfeeding or pumping. And our nursing sweaters are perfect for days working from home when comfort and practicality are key.

You're not doing everything wrong—you're just making trade-offs.

If you’re feeling pulled in two directions today, exhausted, and like you can never do enough—whether at work or at home—it’s not a sign that you’re mismanaging your life. It’s a sign that you’re juggling two deep commitments in a limited amount of time.

There is no version where everything is perfect at the same time. There are only trade-offs, made with the information and energy you have at any given moment—and that in itself is already a huge deal.

At 23 Mai Paris, we dress moms for this reality—not for some idealized version of motherhood without any challenges. Our clothes are designed to help you navigate this fast-paced daily life, with comfort and a touch of style to boot.

Discover our complete collection of nursing wear and our new collection designed to support every aspect of your life as an active mom.