Support groups after a loss: how to avoid isolation and find

After a miscarriage, a perinatal loss, or a pregnancy termination, one of the hardest things to deal with isn’t just the pain itself. It’s the silence that surrounds it. The feeling that no one really understands. That those around you, no matter how caring they may be, cannot fully grasp what you’re going through. That you’re expected to “feel better” even as you’re still falling apart.

Isolation is one of the most common and dangerous consequences of these invisible losses. And yet, there are women, groups, and entire organizations that understand. Who have been through what you’re going through. Who can reach out to you exactly where you are.

At 23 Mai Paris, we firmly believe that no woman should have to go through these challenges alone. In this article, we’ll guide you in finding your support community: why it’s essential not to isolate yourself, how to find the right people, and all our recommendations for groups, organizations, and online communities.

A woman withdrawing from others after the loss of a child

Why isolation is so common after a loss

The taboo that imprisons

Reason for isolation	What's really going on
"I don't want to bother you"	Your pain deserves to be acknowledged
"No one really understands"	Maybe not your friends and family, but others might
"I'm tired of having to explain"	In a support group, you don't have to explain
"My pain is too great to share"	That's exactly why these spaces exist
"It's been too long; I should be feeling better by now."	There is no time limit on mourning
"I don't want to be a burden"	In a group, everyone supports and is supported

The consequences of isolation

Consequence	What this means
Long-term depression	Without support, grief can become more severe
Sense of abnormality	"Why can't I move on?"
Tension in the relationship	When pain has nowhere to go
Musings	Thoughts go round and round in my head without ever coming out
Loss of identity	Defining oneself solely by one's loss
Psychological distress	Can lead to severe conditions

What Support Changes

With support	Without support
"I'm not alone"	"No one understands"
"What I'm feeling is normal"	"It's not normal for me to be in so much pain"
"My child deserves to be recognized"	Complete silence surrounding the loss
"I can go at my own pace"	The pressure to "get better" quickly
"I have resources"	A feeling of total helplessness

Key takeaway: Seeking support isn't a sign of weakness. It's one of the bravest things you can do for yourself.

The different types of support

Professional support

Type	What it offers	How to access it
Perinatal psychologist	Specialized support for those experiencing grief	Through a doctor, the maternity ward, or MonPsy
Psychiatrist	If you have severe depression or suicidal thoughts	Through your primary care physician
Independent midwife	Comprehensive support—physical and emotional	Through your doctor
Couples therapist	If the loss puts the relationship to the test	Through a doctor or a directory
Primary care physician	Sick leave, career counseling	Standard consultation

Support from community organizations

Type	What it offers
Support groups	Share with other parents who understand
One-on-one coaching	A trained volunteer who listens to you
Commemorative events	To honor your child as a group
Reference Materials	Books, guides, brochures
Orientation	Find the right professionals

A group of women supporting one another after a loss

Online community support

Type	What it offers
Private Facebook groups	Secure space, available 24 hours a day
Forums	Testimonials, sharing experiences
Instagram	Caring communities, testimonials
Podcasts	Listen to stories that resonate
Moms' Blogs	Stories that normalize pain

Informal support

Type	What it offers
A friend who went through the same thing	Understanding without explanation
A supportive group of moms	Normalization of pain
A memoir	Feeling less alone at 3 a.m.
A helpline	Talking to someone when everyone else is asleep

Outstretched hands symbolizing community support

7 Tips for Avoiding Isolation After a Loss

Tip 1: Give yourself permission not to feel great

What you sometimes think	What is true
"I should be feeling better by now"	There is no set timeline for mourning
"I don't want to worry others"	Your friends and family would prefer that you share
"It's not that bad"	It's exactly that serious

The first step toward overcoming isolation is to give yourself permission not to be strong. It’s about acknowledging that you need help. And that alone is a huge step.

Tip 2: Start small

You don't have to join an in-person support group right away. Start with whatever feels manageable to you:

Accessible stop	Who is it for?
Read testimonials online	For those who aren't ready to talk
Join a Facebook group	For those who prefer to remain anonymous
Keeping a journal	For those who need to work through their feelings on their own first
Call a helpline	To talk without obligation
Talk to a trusted friend	To start with someone well-known

Tip 3: Find your "tribe"

Not everyone will find the right group on their first try. That's normal.

If this group isn't right for you	Give it a try
Too focused on religion	A more neutral group
Too intense for you	A more welcoming space
Too sad	A group that also offers hope
Not specialized enough	A group dedicated to your specific type of loss

Tip 4: Keep social interactions to a minimum

Isolation sets in gradually. To avoid it:

Ritual	Recommended frequency
Coffee with a friend	At least once a week
A message to someone	Every day
A trip, even a short one	Several times a week
A phone call	Depending on your needs
An activity outside your home	Regularly

Tip 5: Talk about your child

One of the hardest things about isolation is that your child becomes invisible. Finding places where you can talk about them freely is essential.

A place to talk about your child	How to
Support group	That's what it's for
Therapist	A secure and professional environment
Diary	Write him letters
Memorial ceremony	Candle, tree, memorial space
Trusted friend	Who is willing to hear their first name

Tip 6: Use online resources when you're having a rough night

The hardest times often come at night, when everyone is asleep.

Night shift	Availability
3114	24/7
SOS Amitié — 09 72 39 40 50	24/7
Facebook Groups	Someone is always there, 24 hours a day
Support forums	24 hours a day
Podcasts	Listen to soothing testimonials

Tip 7: Accept that support changes over time

Your needs will change over time.

Stages of grief	Type of support provided
The First Few Days	A physical presence, hands-on care
The first few weeks	Helpline, phone line, online group
The first few months	Support group, therapist
The first year	Regular check-ins, memorial rituals
In the long term	Support group, assistance if needed

A woman calling a helpline after a miscarriage

Our recommendations: French organizations

Organizations specializing in perinatal bereavement

AGAPA — Association of Grieving Parents

Information	Details
Website	agapa.fr
Who is it for?	Parents who have lost a child (miscarriage, stillbirth, neonatal death)
What they offer	Support groups, individual counseling, trained volunteers
Highlights	National network of volunteers who have personally experienced loss

Our Stars

Information	Details
Website	nosetoiles.fr
Who is it for?	Parents who have experienced perinatal bereavement
What they offer	Support, resources, groups
Highlights	A gentle and caring approach

Little Emily

Information	Details
Website	petiteemilie.org
Who is it for?	Families affected by perinatal bereavement
What they offer	Support, commemorative events
Highlights	Very active on social media

SPAMA

Information	Details
Who is it for?	Parents after the death of a child
What they offer	Psychological support, counseling
Highlights	Career counseling

Our Little Ones

Information	Details
Who is it for?	Perinatal bereavement from all causes
What they offer	Support, resources, guidance
Highlights	Comprehensive Family Approach

Organizations specializing in miscarriage

The Choice

Information	Details
Website	lechoix.org
Who is it for?	Women after a miscarriage
What they offer	Information, support, guidance
Highlights	Specializing specifically in miscarriage

Clara Association

Information	Details
Who is it for?	Families after a miscarriage or perinatal loss
What they offer	Support groups, counseling
Highlights	A combined medical and emotional approach

Support groups for women who have had an abortion or a medically induced termination of pregnancy

French Movement for Family Planning

Information	Details
Website	planning-familial.org
Who is it for?	Women who have had an abortion or are experiencing reproductive difficulties
What they offer	Listening, support, guidance
Highlights	Non-judgmental, professional

IVG.gouv.fr

Information	Details
Website	ivg.gouv.fr
Who is it for?	All women
What they offer	Information, National Helpline
Number	0 800 08 11 11 — toll-free, anonymous

Our recommendations: Facebook groups

For perinatal bereavement and miscarriage

Group name	Who is it for?	Special feature
"Miscarriage: Let's Talk About It"	Women after a miscarriage	Very active, caring
"Perinatal Bereavement France"	Parents who have experienced perinatal bereavement	Virtual support groups
"After the Storm — Perinatal Grief"	All perinatal losses	Focused on hope and rebuilding
"Miscarriage, IMG, MFIU — support"	All losses	A very well-rounded mixed group
"Mother of a Star (or Stars)"	Mothers Who Have Lost a Baby	A very close-knit community
"Rainbow Baby France"	Pregnancies after a miscarriage	Rainbow Pregnancy Support

For women who have had an abortion

Group name	Who is it for?	Special feature
"After an abortion — non-judgmental support"	Women after an abortion	A welcoming, non-judgmental space
"Abortion: Moving Forward"	Women grieving after an abortion	Emotional support

Tips for joining a Facebook group

Advice	Why
Make sure the group is "secret" or "private"	Your posts are visible only to members
Please read the group rules before posting	Every group has its own culture
Read this first before sharing	Take the time to get comfortable
You can leave at any time	No justification required
Report inappropriate content	To protect the space

Our recommendations: Instagram communities

Accounts to follow to feel less alone

Account type	What you'll find there
Stories from Grieving Mothers	Real-life stories, solidarity
Accounts of perinatal psychologists	Accessible professional advice
Association Financial Statements	Information and resources
"Rainbow Baby" Accounts	Hope After Loss

Heartwarming hashtags to explore

Hashtag	Community
#perinatalgrief	French-speaking community
#weakgrowth	Miscarriage Support Group
#mommysstar	Mothers in Mourning
#rainbowbear	Pregnancies after a miscarriage
#afterthemiscarriage	Testimonials and Support
#wewantababy	A difficult journey through pregnancy

Our recommendations: podcasts and books

Podcasts to Help You Feel Less Lonely

Podcast	Theme	Who is it for?
"A Happy Single Mom"	A Difficult Pregnancy	Moms on the Road to Recovery
"Women's Grief"	Grief and Recovery	Women in mourning
"Pregnancy after a loss"	Rainbow pregnancy	After a loss
"Fertility and Emotions"	Difficult reproductive journey	Women undergoing assisted reproductive technology (ART)

Books That Make You Feel Good

Book	Author	Who is it for?
"How old would you have been?"	Maëlle Lebon	A touching account following a miscarriage
"Perinatal Bereavement"	Joëlle Soubieux	To understand and get through
"After a miscarriage"	Dr. Nathalie Mazars	Medical and Emotional Guide
"Little Light"	Picture book	Finding the right words
"I was waiting for life"	Mothers' Group	A Variety of Testimonials

How to Choose the Right Band for You

Questions to ask yourself

Question	Why it's important
Online or in person?	Depending on whether you prefer anonymity or human interaction
Specialized or general?	A group focused on your specific type of loss may be more relevant to you
Active or moderate?	A very active group can be intense, while a quiet group is more gentle
With or without a professional?	Depending on your need for supervision
Coed or women-only?	Depending on your preference

Signs of a good support group

A positive sign	What this indicates
Clear and supportive rules	Secure area
Active moderation	Member Protection
A variety of testimonials	Standardization of all experiments
No hierarchy of pain	All losses are recognized
A place for hope, too	It's not all sadness

Warning signs of a group to avoid

Warning signal	Why go
Judgments about choices	Your grief doesn't need to be validated
Comparisons of pain	"Yours wasn't as bad" has no place here
Pressure to improve	Contrary to the purpose of the support
Lack of moderation	Risk of offensive content
Promotion of products or services	Be wary

For moms who support other moms

Become a volunteer with a nonprofit organization

Association	How to get there
AGAPA	agapa.fr — training offered to volunteers
Little Emily	Contact them through their website
Our Stars	Through their website

Friends supporting each other after a perinatal loss

How to offer support without stepping back

Advice	Why
Set your boundaries	You can't wear everything
Don't take on someone else's pain	You can carry it without holding it
Refer to professionals if necessary	You don't have to handle everything on your own
Take care of yourself, too	Support runs out if we don't recharge

Frequently Asked Questions

I'm embarrassed to join a group. How can I get over this?

Grief is one of the most common emotions people experience after a loss. Know that in these groups, no one is judging you. Everyone is here because they have gone through—or are going through—something difficult. Start by reading without participating. Gradually, you’ll see that this space is designed to welcome you exactly as you are.

I don't feel like talking to strangers. Is that normal?

That’s perfectly normal. You can still benefit from the group by reading others’ stories without ever posting anything yourself. Many women find comfort in simply reading, without ever sharing. That’s just as valid.

How do I know if I need professional help in addition to a support group?

If you experience any of these symptoms, seek professional help: sadness that prevents you from functioning, persistent dark thoughts, complete isolation, an inability to eat or sleep, or a feeling that life is no longer worth living. A support group can be invaluable, but it is no substitute for professional help in these situations.

My partner doesn't want to talk to strangers. How can I help?

Respect their pace. Some partners find mixed-gender or men-only groups helpful. Others prefer individual therapy. Still others don’t need a group and cope in different ways. You can share resources with them without pushing. The key is for everyone to find their own path.

Is it possible to join these groups long after the loss?

Yes, absolutely. There’s no time limit on seeking support. Some women join a support group months or even years after their loss—when an anniversary stirs up the pain, when a subsequent pregnancy reawakens their emotions, or when they realize they never truly grieved. It’s never too late.

Conclusion

Feeling isolated after a loss is understandable. It’s only natural. But it doesn’t have to be that way. There is a community of women and parents who understand, who have been through what you’re going through, and who are ready to reach out to you.

Whether it’s through a support group, a Facebook group, a helpline, or a therapist, there’s a place just for you. A place where your child can be acknowledged. Where your pain can be heard. Where you can move forward, at your own pace, without pressure or judgment.

At 23 Mai Paris, we think of all the women who carry this invisible grief. You deserve to be surrounded, supported, and guided. You don’t have to go through this alone.

You don't have to carry this pain alone. These resources are here to support you, at your own pace, without judgment.